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MrHankeysToys Review
I have tested a stupid amount of sex toys over the years, but Mr Hankeys Toys is one of those brands that tells you exactly who it is made for the second the homepage loads. This is not a cute little shop with pastel butt plugs and starter kits. MrHankeysToys is built for people who look at a normal dildo and think that is warm up gear. Big silicone, brutal girth, fantasy shapes that care more about stretch and pressure than being polite.
When you land on mrhankeystoys.com you are hit with huge product photos and blunt sizing charts. No soft selling, no pretending anything is average. As someone who makes a living testing toys on my own body and picking them apart for build quality and safety, I love that honesty. If something is thick, long, and ready to ruin your weekend, they tell you up front.
How I Tested And Evaluated MrHankeysToys
For this review I did not just zoom in on product shots and read marketing blurbs. I ordered several toys in different sizes and firmness levels, checked the silicone in my hands, then put them through proper sessions with plenty of lube and patience. I paid attention to how the base behaves when you ride it, how the weight feels when it is deep inside you, and how manageable it is to get past that first big stretch.
Off camera I am pretty obsessive about safety. I checked the toys for seams or rough edges, watched how the surface handled long hot washes, and looked at how closely the real dimensions matched the size charts. I have broken cheap large toys in the past and I am not interested in repeating that. With MrHankeysToys I wanted to see if the reality matched the hype and the numbers on the page.
Product Range And Design
MrHankeysToys splits neatly into a few filthy families. The first is the oversized realistic line. Thick veiny shafts with heavy heads that feel like they are trying to knock on your cervix or bury themselves in your ass in the best possible way. Some are just pleasantly overbuilt, others are the kind of monsters you only bring out on nights when you know you have nothing important in the morning. These are made for fullness, for that slow stretch where you feel every centimeter slide in and you know you could not possibly take this with anything less than focus.
Then you have the fantasy and creature sculpts. Knots, ridges, bulges, exaggerated curves. These are the toys you buy when you want your orgasm to feel like it came from something that should not exist in real life. The textures are not random. When you sink down on one of these, every ridge catches on your walls and drags along nerves that standard toys never touch. If you like the idea of being worked open by something alien, this is the catalogue that scratches that itch.
One of the reasons I keep coming back to this brand is the control they give you over size and firmness. It is the same sculpt, but you can choose a version that is big and challenging or one that is absolutely obscene. That lets you treat a design almost like a progression. Start with something your body can handle, then level up once your holes are trained and hungry for more. It is a smart way to let size freaks push their limits without jumping straight to injury territory.
Materials, Safety, And Build Quality
For a brand that plays in the extreme size space, material quality is not negotiable. MrHankeysToys works with high grade silicone that is non porous and body safe when you treat it correctly. That means you can scrub it with hot water and mild soap, let it dry fully, and it is ready for round two without smelling weird or going tacky. When you are jamming this much silicone into sensitive places, you do not want mystery rubber that splits or sheds dye.
In the hand these toys feel dense and serious. They have weight, but not that dead useless weight you get from badly poured material. The shafts bend enough to move with your body while the base stays firm so you can ride, thrust, and grind without the whole thing folding over. I tested both solo play and hands free sessions with the suction bases and they held up. No sudden peeling off tiles while you are mid thrust, no flop when you put real pressure on them.
Price wise, you are not shopping in the bargain bin. You are paying for silicone that will outlive most of your cheap toys and for sculpts that clearly took real design work. From my perspective as someone who reviews toys professionally, the cost per use ends up low because these are pieces you can come back to for years if you take care of them. I would rather own a few reliable monsters than a drawer full of risky budget junk.
Website Usability And Information
A lot of brands selling oversized toys hide behind vague words like large or extra thick and hope you do not notice the missing numbers. MrHankeysToys does the opposite. Every product page lays out total length, usable length, and girth at different points. They show multiple angles, offer colors and firmness options where available, and generally act like they expect you to read the details before you buy. That is exactly how it should be when you are choosing something that might be as wide as your wrist.
When I picked the toys for this review I cross checked the listed measurements with a ruler once they arrived. The numbers were honest, which is more than I can say for a lot of toy shops. If you are serious about size training, you should still compare their sizes to toys you already own and love. A small jump in circumference can feel huge once it is inside you, and this site gives you enough data to plan those jumps in a way your body can handle.
Shipping, Packaging, And Discretion
Nobody wants the mail carrier dropping off a box that screams giant dildo inside. Mr Hankeys Toys uses plain discreet packaging, and there was nothing on the outside of my parcels that hinted at the silicone chaos hiding in there. Inside, the toys were packed securely, no dents or warping, which matters when something is this heavy and oddly shaped.
Shipping time and cost will depend on where you live, but remember you are paying to move solid chunks of silicone across the map. These are not feather light vibes. For me the transit time was reasonable and the toys arrived in perfect condition. I treat big toy purchases like an investment, not an impulse, so I am fine with that trade.
Who MrHankeysToys Is Best For
Let me be blunt. If you are brand new to penetration or still figuring out your comfort zone, this is not the place to start. MrHankeysToys is for people who already know they like being stretched, stuffed, and pushed right up against their limits. If you hear phrases like size queen or size king and quietly nod to yourself, this catalogue is built for you.
It is also a good fit if you are into fantasy play and want your orgasms to feel like a creature feature. The sculpts are detailed, the silicone is safe, and the designs are clearly meant to give you specific sensations rather than just looking wild on a shelf. If you are the kind of person who tracks your progress in girth like other people track gym numbers, you will fit right in here.
If you are curious but inexperienced, I would tell you, as a reviewer and as someone who uses these toys on my own body, to start with smaller toys from other brands, then move into the more modest sizes at MrHankeysToys only when you know how your body reacts. There is no sexy payoff in rushing straight to something your muscles cannot handle.
Final Verdict
MrHankeysToys is not a casual click and buy brand. It is a deliberate choice for people who crave heavy silicone, huge stretch, and fantasy shapes that feel filthy in all the right ways.
As someone who spends a lot of time testing toys and occasionally walking a little funny after review nights, I can say these pieces earn their place in a serious collection. If you want gentle and cute, look elsewhere. If you want to train your holes, feel every ridge and vein as you sink down slow, and own toys that can keep up with your dirtiest mood, Hankeys Toys is absolutely worth your time and money.
